Finally arrived in Ireland!!

23 Saturday Jun 2012

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

After hitting a few bumps in the road I’ve finally arrived in Dublin! I absolutely loved it even though I only spent a short time there before taking the train to Cork. Here are the few pictures I took on my phone!

20120624-040434.jpg20120624-040503.jpg20120624-040510.jpg

New friends made in Dublin from Australia & Boston (really windy as you can tell)

20120624-040516.jpg

Labels are for jars not for people!

L20120624-040546.jpg

Seafood chowder & Irish soda bread

20120624-040616.jpg

Passing through the Irish country side on the train to Cork! So Green!

20120624-040955.jpg

me right before I left NJ

Following My Heart

26 Monday Mar 2012

Posted by in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Image

My whole life I have been choosing between the security of a degree or the passion of a dream. How do I decide? What about the risks? What am I doing? I am 22 years old and seem to be having a major quarter life crisis. I have always known what I wanted to be ever since I was a little girl. However, I was surrounded by people telling me “that will never happen” or “be realistic”. Well who are they to tell me what I can and cannot do? I am done listening. It’s now or never right? Maybe not everyone is meant to take the path “society” has laid out for “us”. I don’t see a cubicle or white picket fence in my future. The thought of the same routine 9-5 job for the rest of my life makes me sick. I could care less about “keeping up with the joneses”. After I finish my associates degree (this spring) should I take a year off? move? travel? love? explore? pursue music? Or should I finish my bachelors degree stay in cold boring New Jersey surrounded by negative energy, surrounded by every reminder of why I want to leave? I guess the tone in which I am referring to the two choices makes what I truly want quite obvious. I just can’t seem to escape this paralyzing fear of failing. The fear I will end up like my parents and continue this never ending cycle of financial instability and stress.

Ultimately, my struggle to make a choice keeps me stuck. I am not moving forward or backward. I am just battling in my mind which road to take. Heck, I’ve even considered going to a psychic to tell me which way to go.  I seem to be trapped in this terrible tug-of-war like situation where neither side is winning. I’m not accomplishing either goals because one side isn’t pulling hard enough.  It’s a fight between my head and my heart. How do I make this decision? Do I flip a coin? Like they say if you flip a coin you will end up hoping it lands on a particular side ultimately revealing what you truly desire. I have finally flipped that coin, and I know what I really want. I wish to travel, see the world, and hopefully become a singer.

“Oh a singer you say? That’s crazy! You know how many people make it out there doing that? Good luck, fat chance in hell.” Enough is enough. It’s time to tune out all the non-believers. Do I really want to go through life wondering what if? I love writing songs, singing, and playing guitar so why should i keep lying to myself? If this is what I’m truly passionate about I should try right? One gap year can’t hurt. A year to pursue my passions before I plummet into debt getting a degree that I might not really want. I could always go back to school in a year if it doesn’t work out. I mean the economy is bad out there so how beneficial is a degree right now anyways?  I just don’t know if I can handle another year of misery.

In a nutshell, I want to get out NOW. So how about moving to San Diego or Nashville? Backpacking Europe? Volunteering abroad? It’s the little things in life, the people you meet, the experiences, and the memories that make it all worth while. So heres to taking chances! This is my new years resolution; taking chances, taking a risk, following my heart, and facing my fears! I hope I have the strength and courage to do so!

– I wrote this about 2 months ago, blindly typing away my feelings and thoughts, just letting it pour out in deep frustration. Looking back and rereading this now I realized the whole time I was just seeking reassurance for the answer my heart already knew, and guess what? I made a choice. At least one choice! An adventurous step in the right direction. Today I found out I got the job to be an Au Pair in Cork, Ireland  this summer! (I hear Cork has a good music scene as well 🙂 ) I feel happy, relieved, and most of all excited!

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” -Leo F. Buscaglia